Being Present

There’s a lot of talk of mindfulness around. It seems to be becoming a bit of a buzz word. Everyone is aware that they should be trying to be more mindful. But what does that actually mean?

The dictionary definition is “a mental state achieved by focusing on one’s awareness of the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations” (Oxford Dictionary).

Being present has wonderous affects on your mental health, I have witnessed that first hand. At the beginning of last year, I started lots of mindful practices that worked for me – meditation, yoga, walks in nature, bike rides, journalling. The results were astounding. Up until that point, I had not realised how much time I spent reliving the past or worrying about the future. I found that I was always just waiting for the next phase of my life where I would be happier. For example, when the children were younger, I thought to myself “it’ll be easier once they’re both sleeping through and I’m not so tired”, then once that happened, it was ” when they start playing together more, they’ll want less of my time, things will get easier then”. With work, I was constantly living term-to-term, wishing and waiting for the next holiday. With money, I was waiting for the 30 hours free childcare to take affect for us, then I’d have money. After that, it was when my next payrise came, things would be better.

The fact was, those moments came and passed but the feelings didn’t change…I was still waiting for better things to come.

My problem was, I never took time to appreciate what I had in that very moment. I thought I was grateful for the life I had but I never actually took the time to really think about what I was grateful for. I didn’t notice my surroundings. I didn’t appreciate nature. I got swept away with the enormity of life and forgot to enjoy living it!

Now that has changed for me, my whole outlook has changed. I feel in control of my emotions. When feelings come up, whatever feelings they may be, I am much better at acknowledging them, then moving on, without becoming engrossed in what those feelings mean. I don’t feel the need to ‘get rid’ of the feelings, I’m more content to sit with them.

I have never noticed birdsong as much as I have this year. It’s beautiful. I’ve paused to look up at the sky at night and marvel at the stars. What a big, wide world we are part of!

I love bedtimes with my children. I used to dread them. That sounds awful doesn’t it! But I’d be so tired and done with day, I just wanted them in bed so I could do my work and go to sleep. Now, I love snuggling up with a book. I don’t feel the need to rush through the story. I don’t get stressed when the bedtime-avoidance tricks come out in full force (well most of the time I don’t…I’m only human)! Instead, I listen. I respond. I laugh with my children. I’m present, really present. And truly grateful for all of my blessings.